For a number of years, I have run a clinic for people who worry too much about their health. They are an interesting group. Some are classical hypochondriacs, that is, given a certain set of symptoms, they tend to imagine the worst possible illness. Others are somatizers–people who when anxious tend to develop physical symptoms of one sort or another. Still others are depressed. Others fall generally into the diagnostic category of obsessive-compulsive disorder–people who worry about germs or other forms of contamination. (My book, “Worried Sick?” is a description of this program.) Of course, these individuals, like people who worry, in general, have learned their particular fears growing up, usually from their parents, sometimes from an unusual set of circumstances, such as growing up with a family member who is seriously and chronically ill. Some of these health worries are typical and predictable: “You have to eat enough, or you’ll get sick.” “You have to sleep enough or you’ll get sick” “You have to dress warmly, avoid sick people, move your bowels every day, wash your hands before meals etc. or you’ll get sick.” And there are very many people who avoid germs, sometimes to the point where they are unable to attend school or go to work. Still, I was startled one day when I first started this program to discover there was a particular idea about contamination that seemed to divide along sexual lines.
It is the case, however counter-intuitive it may seem, that it is impossible to catch a venereal disease from a toilet seat. One might think that it is reasonable to be concerned about pubic crabs, at least, that crawl around in clothes, crawling from one person to another off a toilet seat. But according to everyone’s expert opinion, it cannot happen. Why then is there a dispenser in many public bathrooms of toilet-shaped pieces of paper which are obviously designed to rest on the toilet seat? The answer is, that many people are afraid of sitting on toilet seats, thinking that it is possible to catch something this way. Most men, even those afraid of germs, are willing and accustomed to sit on toilet seats in public restrooms if the seats are not obviously dirty. The women, I discovered, are not. They tend to hover over the toilet, or refrain from using it altogether.
I was musing over this fact when I returned home that night.
“Did you know,” I said to my adult daughter, who has no particular fear of catching illnesses, “there are a number of women in my health anxiety group who do not sit on public toilet seats??
“Sure,” she said, “neither do I?”
“WHAT? Why is that?”
“Because that’s what my mother told me to do.”
So, just like there are certain genes that are passed down only through the maternal line, there are certain ideas that are passed on the same way. I have trouble convincing these women that this precaution is unnecessary, perhaps because I’m the wrong sex.