“Ask Dr Neuman” Advice Column
Finding the Right Job Looking everywhere at everything Every once in a while I hear something on the radio which strikes me as so plainly wrong, I feel I should respond to it. The commentator was giving advice to individuals who have had trouble over a long period of...
The developmental stage squeezed between childhood and adulthood is called adolescence. It corresponds more or less with certain physical changes, like puberty, but is really defined more by psychological changes that have to take place in order for an...
Everyone recognizes there is a value to assertiveness. Achieving goals—any sort of goal—is more likely when someone reaches out to achieve them, rather than waiting around for “the right circumstances.” But sometimes assertiveness is confused with aggressiveness. For...
The I.A. index. There is an advantage to being physically attractive. Everyone knows that. Attractive men and women tend to get paid more at work than others. They are more likely to be promoted. Probably good looks weigh heavily when the political parties choose...
It’s Not What You Know, It’s Who You Know Whose fault is that? Someone wrote a book and then a musical about how to succeed in business without really trying. It was a prescription for what an ambitious person without skills or talent or brains needs to do to succeed....
Not brains, good-looks, or even good luck. It is not immediately obvious what it means to be successful in life. The term is used generally to describe a professional success, that is, a signal achievement at work, indicated in part, but only in part, by having made a...
But you can’t be just anybody. It is often said to someone who is anxious to make a good impression, “just be yourself.” What that means is, “I think you are fine. You do not have to pretend to be someone else.” This is often helpful and appropriate advice....
Promoting a sexual stereotype Probably all through history (and before) men have exploited women sexually. When early humans travelled around in extended families, the biggest, strongest male set all the rules–the rules being, “I get what I want.” Judging from some of...
The Climbing The Ladder of Success Rung by rung Ambitious young men and women start to climb the ladder of success long before their first job. During their time of growing up, they will have undergone trials and undertaken endeavors of graduated skill. These take...
Figuring out what matters Some patients come to me because they feel very stressed at work. Usually, stress comes from a fear of making a mistake, or an overlapping fear of being scolded. Since everyone makes mistakes, no matter how important the job, and everyone is...
A colleague complained to me a few days ago about his office. He was troubled by plumbing that was making some gurgling noises and by the sounds of construction from outside the window. I cheered him up by telling him about the time I had The Worst Office in the...
Hugely successful Over the years I have run into a small number of hugely successful men. I have noticed that certain qualities of mind and action seem to characterize all of them: Most important, they are willing to work very hard and very long hours. Most...