General Articles Articles
What is Required for a Happy Life… an opinion
An opinion. Psychotherapists do not presume to tell patients how to live. Not usually. That would be regarded as presumptuous. But still, secretly, therapists, like people in general, have their own ideas about how to live happily and effectively, even if they do not...
Psychiatric Name Calling
Psychopath, narcissist, borderline, etc. Psychiatric nomenclature, revised recently for the fifth or sixth time, does a poor job of defining disease. The problem is that most serious psychiatric illnesses, such as schizophrenia or manic-depressive illness have no...
Assertiveness vs. Aggressiveness
Everyone recognizes there is a value to assertiveness. Achieving goals—any sort of goal—is more likely when someone reaches out to achieve them, rather than waiting around for “the right circumstances.” But sometimes assertiveness is confused with aggressiveness. For...
Should We Make Pi Exactly Equal to Three? Applied “Creationist Mathematics.”
“Creationist Mathematics.” A long time ago, when I was a psychiatric resident, one of the patients on our ward entertained all the residents by giving a lecture on certain advances in mathematics that he had invented. We sat attentively while he drew on a blackboard...
To Sue or Not To Sue
The decision on whether or not to sue someone is first of all a legal question; but there are also psychological reasons to sue or not to sue. I am not a lawyer, but I’ve been involved in a number of lawsuits as an expert witness and, more commonly, as a therapist to...
Considering the Universe as a Whole: We’re About Average Size
Don’t listen to those astronomers. Some people have an inferiority complex about being smaller than average. Most people don’t like being just average, but being less than average is even worse. Astronomers like to take advantage of these people by pointing out that...
How to Marry Someone Who Is Rich
Keeping in mind that there are different degrees of rich. At some point along the way of psychotherapy, I usually ask my patients what they want to achieve in their lives. Very commonly, they reply that, among other things, they would like to be married. Only on very...
Typos in the Constitution
Cruel and/or unusual punishment The following is an excerpt from a speech I would have given to the “True Independence Day Club” on July 3, 1996 if they had asked me. “Thank you for asking me here today, a special day in our history: the two hundredth and twentieth...
Why Am I Aging Twice As Fast As Everyone Else?
Growing old gracelessly. Many men, after spending their childhood and adolescence trying to gain weight–to get bigger and stronger– spend the rest of their lives trying to get thinner. I have lived through my own variation on this theme. I have always been told that I...
How To Cope With Rejection
Ask a writer I am afraid that rejection and failure and disappointment are a regular feature of ordinary life, no matter how successful someone may be. Any set of circumstances in which one reaches out for something: acceptance, approval, the good opinion of friends...
Finding the Right Psychiatrist and/or Psychotherapist
Some suggestions. I am frequently asked if I can recommend a psychiatrist or a therapist in various locations, most recently in Des Moines and somewhere in Pakistan. Not only do I not know any psychiatrists in these places, I would not even feel confident making a...