Q: a couple of months ago I asked a question regarding love and received this answer from you not sure if you remember….. My question is now if this guy broke up with his girlfriend after 3 months and confesses he wants you back and that the other girl was crazy and that he has a lot of explaining to to do and wants to fix things with you or at least just wants to have a last conversation in person if thats all I can give him. I replied why would I? What happens when he decides he wants the other girl back? Will he just brush me off again and tell me to forget about him? and he replied stating that he was done with her for good and that he needed to talk to me to explain to me some things. IM NOT GOING TO LIE I STILL HAVE FEELINGS FOR THIS GUY BUT I DONT WANT TO FORGIVE AND FOR HIM TO THINK IT WAS OKAY WHAT HE DID TO ME. from a psy. advice what should I do????????????????———I think (but I’m not sure) I know who’s dating whom. As I understand your story, a guy you were dating seriously seemed to be attracted to another girl who was part of your group. He denied being interested in her, but it turned out he was. He left you for this other woman, came back briefly, and then left again. Now, they seem to be a couple. This story sounds commonplace and probably requires no special explanation. Couples frequently break apart, come back again briefly, break apart, and can come back together still again–usually the amount of time the couple spends together are shorter at each interval as one or both of them remembers why they broke up in the first place. I think you are right in being gracious (“cool”) in reacting to this abandonment. It happens to everyone sooner or later. There is no way of knowing whether this other couple is in love or if they will stay together permanently. Most relationships break up. They, themselves, cannot know. For that reason, it is a good idea not to accept at face value anything about “love” that anyone professes. It is not so much that people lie. It’s just that people’s feelings change unpredictably. If you want to know if a boyfriend will be interested in you six months down the road, you cannot judge by what he says. You have to wait six months. Even then, as you know from your own experience, no relationship can be guaranteed to last, even after a couple gets married.I don’t like to distinguish between “crushes” and “true love.” They both feel the same. If real love is defined by feeling the same way forever, then there is no way of knowing if someone is “really” in love–for the reason I mention above
– Tasha
A: I don’t know that I have anything to add to what I said previously. I certainly do not know what you should do. Some things happen automatically. If you do take him back, you will be suspicious about him for a long time. I think it is true that having abandoned you once, he is capable of doing it a second time. If I were advising him, I would point out that once the relationship is resumed, he could expect you to be angry for a long, long time.
– Dr. Neuman