“Ask Dr Neuman” Advice Column
I suspect my corporation has some strange religious principles. Corporations used to be described as a “legal fiction” which could be treated for certain business purposes as an individual. It had certain rights, including the right to hire and fire employees and to...
The benefits of revenge—and the costs. Start with the idea that every feeling serves a purpose. A feeling is an internal signal to behave in a certain way. All feelings have a survival advantage, direct or indirect. Being fearful causes the fight or flight reaction,...
A solution to an unnecessarily fatal condition. A number of years ago I developed a leiomyosarcoma, which is an unusual form of abdominal cancer. Although I had previously been a health worrier, I was too caught up during the next number of days dealing with the very...
The doctrine of “assumption of risk.” Everyone agrees there is too much litigation, except for a few malcontents and trial lawyers; and who cares what they think anyway? People sue when doctors operate on the wrong limb or when a pothole has been neglected so that the...
Raising the stakes. Many love relationships—maybe most love relationships—come to an end at some point when the people involved have come to know each other better, or when one or both have changed. Sometimes those involved have come simply to understand themselves...
“Bloody Kansas” Kansas is considering a new law which will allow parents (or someone they designate) to strike their children up to ten times, even if the result is bruising. The previous law governing child abuse was considered too vague. It seemed possible...
A problem for psychotherapy. It is well-documented that people’s memories are fallible; their perceptions are unreliable; and their view of the world—no matter how strongly believed—may well be contrary to the facts, even contrary to physical law. All of these aspects...
An obligation to seek the truth. Nicholas Kristof gave over his column today in the New York Times to an account by Dylan Farrow of her being abused by Woody Allen when she was seven years old. The behavior she describes—inappropriate touching—is reprehensible. It is...
We are instructed from a very early age to apologize when we have done something wrong. Why? What is the purpose of apologizing? It cannot undo the offense. Parents explain to their children that when they apologize, they acknowledge having done something wrong, and...
Given the fact that we are in existence for only a limited time, it is natural to ask oneself what is worth doing and what is not. We might otherwise find ourselves wasting time. Time is the only resource we have that we are always depleting and which cannot be...
Declaring someone “almost dead” is not good enough. When I was just entering my upper-class years in medical school, I found myself working on one of those very long, crowded wards they had at Bellevue Hospital in those days. One afternoon I finished my assignment...
Patients who are near to dying are still alive Dying patients usually have all the emotional problems they have always had. The image of death growing up in front of them does not obliterate everything that went before. Money problems have not evaporated. Family...