“Ask Dr Neuman” Advice Column
The connection is sometimes illusory It is a commonplace that when bad things happen, people feel bad. Feeling depressed is just one of the many emotional states that constitute a reaction to the constantly varying conditions of our lives. We are at any one time...
A feat of imagination Dieting successfully does not mean simply losing weight—it means eating and exercising properly so that it is possible to maintain a proper weight indefinitely. By that standard few people diet successfully. Most people consider losing weight...
It is possible to have too much of a good thing Individuals who suffer from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) tend to see things in black or white. There is the proper way to do something—and there is everything else. So, some patients with this condition struggle...
Just as some people are shy and others brash, some people are easily embarrassed by circumstances that would not trouble anyone else. They have an exaggerated concern about the impression they are making. It is a sensitivity that underlies a number of the anxiety...
But believing what? There used to be a television program called Candid Camera. The producers would set up strange situations and record how ordinary people reacted to them. For instance, they would place a microphone and speaker in a mail box, the kind of small...
What some people think matters more than what others think. A woman apologized to me a few days ago because she was crying. She was upset that her sister was not talking to her. She was very close to her sister, who, because of the difference in their ages, had acted...
Confrontation is the best way to deal with fear Agoraphobia and the panic disorder that provokes it is the most common and most severe phobia. Affected individuals are not so much afraid of particular circumstances, as they are afraid of their own feelings. They...
People who are phobic, paranoid, and obsessional—and everybody else Each of us comes to believe certain things about the world. We take for granted that our perspective is objective and accurate—whether it has to do with religious or political ideas, or simple facts,...
Different elements of a sexual history. I glanced at a blog recently that made the case that first sexual experiences are always memorable and indicative of a future sexual adjustment. That would be interesting if it were so. A sexual history, like every other...
Figuring out what matters Some patients come to me because they feel very stressed at work. Usually, stress comes from a fear of making a mistake, or an overlapping fear of being scolded. Since everyone makes mistakes, no matter how important the job, and everyone is...
Not very much, it turns out. Let me define falling in love as well as I can, so we know what we are talking about. One person finds himself/herself excited and preoccupied with someone else and desirous of touching that person and being with that person as much as...
I may not be right, but these guys are wrong. Survival requires that animals come to an effective understanding of the world around them. Human beings learn what is happening by talking to others. We learn what is happening around the corner and in the next town—and...