“Ask Dr Neuman” Advice Column
Is it possible to be too optimistic?Is it possible to be too optimistic? Well, sure. It is possible to be too fat and too thin. It is possible to be too aggressive, or too passive. It is even possible for someone to be too smart for his own good, or so it is said. It...
The wish to behave ethically taken to an extreme.Evolution seems to push pack animals (including human beings) in opposite directions. Individuals are rewarded for behaving aggressively and selfishly with a heightened likelihood of success, namely, a greater chance of...
The benefits of asking“Ask, and ye shall receive.”If only it were that simple. I guess it is the natural condition to want things. Inevitably, wanting leads to disappointment, and, as the story goes, to unhappiness . The Buddha claimed that all the pain of life came...
Our dreams tell strange stories, or fragments of stories, in which barely recognized actors move to obscure purposes. We find ourselves in those dreams thrown into fantastic situations where the settings may be vaguely familiar, but the circumstances may be bizarre or...
Studies suggest that people are in a better mood when they are active, rather than in repose. Well, we knew that. People get caught up with doing things. There is an excitement in the moment. And, sometimes, joyfulness. On the other hand, someone upset about something...
Happiness: #1Those circumstances that are necessary to living happily.People do not come to psychiatrists, or psychotherapists, in general, because they want to understand themselves better, or because they are looking forward to changing their lives. They come to...
Arguments are not undesirable. All the way up and down the animal kingdom, animals argue. They bark, bellow, growl and spit at each other. They are attempting to influence the other animal, who is often of the same species. “Stay away,” they are saying, or “Stop doing...
Predicting marital success or failure.The people described below have been disguised.It has often been said that love is a necessary, but not sufficient, reason to get married. However, it is not necessary, and it is certainly not sufficient. Arranged marriages are...
There is always an argument about whether a particular psychological trait or symptom is genetic in origin or a product of environment. This is known as the “nature vs. nurture” debate. Most times the proper answer is “both.” For example, studies on twins have shown...
Edna, the cavewoman, knew what she was talking about.Bernie and Charlie, the cavemen, were both friends even though Bernie was a worrier and Charlie was relaxed. Charlie slept outside the cave on humid nights where he could look at the stars and listen to the...
Many years ago, I saw a patient who had a number of problems, the only one of which I remember now was alcoholism. He was a nice guy, I remember thinking, considering he was in the throes of a divorce—which often brings out the worst in people. But when he drove an...
For a number of years, I have run a clinic for people who worry too much about their health. They are an interesting group. Some are classical hypochondriacs, that is, given a certain set of symptoms, they tend to imagine the worst possible illness. Others are...