“Ask Dr Neuman” Advice Column
Not very much, it turns out. Let me define falling in love as well as I can, so we know what we are talking about. One person finds himself/herself excited and preoccupied with someone else and desirous of touching that person and being with that person as much as...
People are different, and, in a way, what makes each of us different is the recollection we have of our lives. We remember ourselves in certain ways—having done particular things at particular times. If we were to develop amnesia, as is depicted sometimes in the...
All of the psychiatric illnesses can be defined by particular disturbances of thought, and feeling, and the behaviors associated with them. The characteristic speech of an acutely schizophrenic individual is often called “loosening of associations,” which reflects a...
A Theory of Déjà vu and Jamais Vu. Every once in a while, for no obvious reason, some people experience distortions of perception. Some of these are named. Depersonalization, for example, is a sudden sense of disorientation – a queer feeling of not being oneself. It...
The purpose of feelingsFeelings are often spoken of as if they are a thing. “Get rid of those negative feelings,” some people say, as if one could turn away from unpleasant feelings by an effort of will alone. Emotional responses, however, are obligatory. They are an...
Is it possible to be too optimistic?Is it possible to be too optimistic? Well, sure. It is possible to be too fat and too thin. It is possible to be too aggressive, or too passive. It is even possible for someone to be too smart for his own good, or so it is said. It...
Small changes make big differencesPsychotherapy is sometimes portrayed grandly as an attempt to change personality– personality being no less than the sum of an individual’s feelings, thoughts and behavior, which together have grown up, in turn, out of the sum of that...
Our dreams tell strange stories, or fragments of stories, in which barely recognized actors move to obscure purposes. We find ourselves in those dreams thrown into fantastic situations where the settings may be vaguely familiar, but the circumstances may be bizarre or...
Studies suggest that people are in a better mood when they are active, rather than in repose. Well, we knew that. People get caught up with doing things. There is an excitement in the moment. And, sometimes, joyfulness. On the other hand, someone upset about something...
Happiness: #1Those circumstances that are necessary to living happily.People do not come to psychiatrists, or psychotherapists, in general, because they want to understand themselves better, or because they are looking forward to changing their lives. They come to...
Arguments are not undesirable. All the way up and down the animal kingdom, animals argue. They bark, bellow, growl and spit at each other. They are attempting to influence the other animal, who is often of the same species. “Stay away,” they are saying, or “Stop doing...
Edna, the cavewoman, knew what she was talking about.Bernie and Charlie, the cavemen, were both friends even though Bernie was a worrier and Charlie was relaxed. Charlie slept outside the cave on humid nights where he could look at the stars and listen to the...