“Ask Dr Neuman” Advice Column
Without being especially clever. I routinely see patients, both men and women, who have every reason to think they are bright. Often they were exceptional students throughout high school and college; and a number are working successfully at jobs that require skill and...
A personal defence. I have been writing about love on this blog. I am interested in how love develops and then recedes, or transforms into something else. There are the real phenomena of love at first sight, unrequited love, love in the very young and the very old,...
Should it be saved? (I have followed my usual practice of disguising my patients.) By the time men and women enter into a long-term commitment, such as marriage, they are likely to have been through a number of previous relationships. Something was learned by them...
I have been writing a series of blogs on dating practices. Sometimes I make recommendations. Some people respond by telling me about a success they have had; but the greater number of comments argue against my suggestions, and against the prospect of dating...
Ways to ruin your social life. We all know people who profess to want something, but who indicate by their behavior that that thing, whatever it is, is not what they want, at least, not so much that they are willing to go to the trouble of reaching out to...
Not brains, good-looks, or even good luck. It is not immediately obvious what it means to be successful in life. The term is used generally to describe a professional success, that is, a signal achievement at work, indicated in part, but only in part, by having made a...
Without seeming desperate? I recently heard through mutual friends about a young woman who had met a man recently and pursued him to the point where she had become a nuisance; and as time went on possibly a stalker. I was asked if I thought she might be dangerous. As...
Unexpected and previously unknown calamities. I have been practicing medicine for many years. Nevertheless, from time to time I hear about some awful medical condition that has escaped my attention previously. Usually, it has some strange name. Usually it occurs, or...
Growing old gracelessly. Many men, after spending their childhood and adolescence trying to gain weight–to get bigger and stronger– spend the rest of their lives trying to get thinner. I have lived through my own variation on this theme. I have always been told that I...
The desire to be attractive is natural enough, in fact it is universal. Animals all the way up and down the animal kingdom invest a tremendous amount of effort making themselves attractive: putting colored substances on themselves and preening and so on. Physical...
Not entirely in the eye of the beholder We know a lot—at least we think we know a lot—about mating rituals in animals. These are often complicated behaviors that can last for hours and are designed to demonstrate good looks and physical prowess. Why? All that preening...
This anecdote appears in “Come One, Come All.” I wrote it as fiction, but the story is real. I read about it in The New York Times. The speaker is the gynecologist who works at the Woman’s Health Center. “Dr. Redden, I think you’ll be interested in this case. This is...