“Ask Dr Neuman” Advice Column
But you can’t be just anybody. It is often said to someone who is anxious to make a good impression, “just be yourself.” What that means is, “I think you are fine. You do not have to pretend to be someone else.” This is often helpful and appropriate advice....
A strategy for coping. As in any other kind of human interaction, all kinds of things can go wrong during the dating process. Someone met for the first time can turn out to be any sort of person: an imposter, philanderer, criminal, bigamist, homicidal maniac, etc. The...
To believe or not to believe: that is the question I remember, when I was a kid, listening to a radio program in which a man who had started a movement to dress up farm animals was being interviewed. The position he took was that cows standing around with their udders...
Just as some people are shy and others brash, some people are easily embarrassed by circumstances that would not trouble anyone else. They have an exaggerated concern about the impression they are making. It is a sensitivity that underlies a number of the anxiety...
Promoting a sexual stereotype Probably all through history (and before) men have exploited women sexually. When early humans travelled around in extended families, the biggest, strongest male set all the rules–the rules being, “I get what I want.” Judging from some of...
The reason why most old people do not worry about dyingA lesson for health worriers.One customarily speaks of life being precious – equally precious to everyone; but it is not so.Taking the life of another human being is considered everywhere to be a heinous crime;...
Can friends become lovers without risking their friendship? A number of patients have told me that they were spending a lot of time with a close friend of the opposite sex who was attractive and interesting; but whom, nevertheless, they were not inclined to date. “It...
What some people think matters more than what others think. A woman apologized to me a few days ago because she was crying. She was upset that her sister was not talking to her. She was very close to her sister, who, because of the difference in their ages, had acted...
Because she has other things to think about besides you. I find it hard to figure out why people do the things they do; figuring out why they don’t do certain things is usually impossible. A middle-aged lady complained to me that her friend of twenty years...
A guide for bigots. Homosexuality is in the news a lot these days, what with homosexuals getting married and homosexuals serving in the armed forces and homosexuals forming their own soft-ball leagues. Societal attitudes towards homosexuality are changing. It is no...
An unhealthy entertainment. In an issue of Surgical Endoscopy (1997) there was a report of an interesting surgical method of extracting swallowed toothbrushes. (Since they are never passed spontaneously, they must be removed one way or another surgically.) The...
Different elements of a sexual history. I glanced at a blog recently that made the case that first sexual experiences are always memorable and indicative of a future sexual adjustment. That would be interesting if it were so. A sexual history, like every other...