“Ask Dr Neuman” Advice Column
Most married couples develop a shared understanding of who does what in their relationship. It is a sometimes unspoken recognition of an inevitable division of labor and responsibilities. The current, commonly agreed, “politically correct” plan for marriage is an...
Most people have heard that winning a lottery does not usually bring happiness. In fact, there are reports of people’s lives being disrupted permanently by the sudden possession of very large amounts of money. Most of us think deep down that that kind of problem could...
The etiquette of divorceEvery culture has developed rules for handling everyday business. Most of these go without saying. They have come into being because society has a stake in continuing to function under every conceivable circumstance. There are specific purposes...
(In this post I have followed my usual practice of disguising the patients.)Incest is defined by Webster’s as sexual intercourse between persons so closely related that they are forbidden by law to marry. But religious and secular law has varied from time to time and...
First, let me say that I think the job of a psychiatrist is to be helpful. I want my patients to do well, in a way not dissimilar, I think, from the way someone might feel towards a brother. I am anxious that my patients not get into trouble. I will not, of course,...
Predicting marital success or failure.The people described below have been disguised.It has often been said that love is a necessary, but not sufficient, reason to get married. However, it is not necessary, and it is certainly not sufficient. Arranged marriages are...
How to bring up children properlyWhy haven’t we figured this out after fifty thousand years, or so?I was trained a long time ago as a child psychiatrist. That training usually lasts two years and takes place after the first two years of a psychiatric residency. In my...
HomosexualityThere are a number of sensible questions one can ask about the subject of homosexuality, and some that are not sensible. A fundamental, sensible question is “Why are some people homosexual and others heterosexual?” Some other questions that grow out of...
Sex in marriage: Changes Over Time.Whether or not a couple has a normal, or happy, sexual life together cannot be determined just by knowing how often they make love. Other aspects of their marriage impact their sexual relationship, and to some extent reflect that...
Definitely the wrong amount According to the experts, some people make love five to six times a day, day after day, year after year. I never knew anyone like that, but I imagine I see them in the street every once in a while, walking or stumbling along, glassy-eyed,...
As usual, I disguise the patients I write about. When I started my psychiatric practice, I saw a 24 year old woman who came to me for treatment of her agoraphobia and panic disorder. It is my practice to ask about sexual matters as part of a routine psychiatric...
A number of species of animals are supposed to be monogamous, sometimes over the course of a lifetime. When the offspring of these various species are analyzed by examining their DNA, it turns out a small , but significant, number are fathered by someone other than...