Q: Doctor…I was reading your latest posting about how hiding our feelings and being closed makes life seemingly safe but confined and limited. What can I say…being a closted gay man..my very identity has come from showcasing everything I am not. Every word and sentence isdesigned to hide who I am else my respect in society will shatter like glass and everyone will feel entitled and justified in judging and damning me. Also…living in a 3rd world country…life here is anyways vulnerable to extortion. .crime..injustice and police harassment. So what can be my ray of light or silver lining to make me not live day after day precariously. ..
– PK
A: You have not said exactly where you live; but I know that there are places where being seen as a homosexual is life-threatening. It may be a rational decision to hide who you are from others as it was for the Jews in Nazi-occupied Europe to pretend to be someone else. But there is a price to be paid. Unless someone can stand up and proclaim who he really is–and what he really believes in– he will be diminished in his own eyes. Self-respect comes from being able to be the same person, whoever is around.
– Dr. Neuman