Q: hi thre i read some of your articles, and they make a lot of sense. I was married for 29 years and got divorced,2 boys,which my ex refuse me access to see the 12 year old,i wwnt to court for contempt of court,but withdrew the case as i couldnt bare seeing my child on a witness stand,then i met another woman,she also went thru a divorve,24 years marraige, 2 kids as well.we became involved and had a 2 1/2 year relationship,SHE IS OUTSTANDING,w connect on so many levels,and communicate well until 3 weeks ago. Our finances slided,she invested in a project with me,almost a MILLION rand,unfortanely the project is standing currently,due to one of my properties that was suppose to be sold to carry on,just dont seem to sell. Ww had an argument,and then she went to stay with her parents,in that time she revealed that she invested that money,eventhoughthe property is not in her name,they went balastic, and somehow convinced her to move out.in the meantime during this 3 weeks being apart,i thought so much,and rwalised i made a mistake,and started to put some solutions in place which i wanted to discuss with her,this i could never do due to her never wanted to meet me,i even went to her brother which is a pastor,and her parents,and not one of them wanted to assist,she came to fecth her furniture, and we both were in so much tears,our hearts are broken,our souls destroyed,i deep inside of me i believe this is not over,we connect on so many levels,be they as it may,the family has now pressurised her not to be incontact with me no more! I dont know what to thinkk no more, I HONESTLY LOVE THIS WOMAN,but it looks like the only thing that seem to be important is the money,im prepared to sacrifice whatever to get this relationship back on track. Im devastated that the family has so turned their back on me like this,i suggested a round table meeting,and the parents said i hve to earn their trust first by paying back the money,i think thats absurd, and at the detrement of our relationship.am i being foolish here,should i just forget and move on, why then the tears,and love as she left the house,the parents saw this and probably saying its just emotions, why if i have solutions that can save the relationship,that they are not even remotely interested to listen. I subsequently wrote her a 13 page letter,explaining where i was wrong in our relationship,and explained the solutions,and what we can do to save the relationship.somehow this has not worked as well. Ive been dealing with this pain all on my own for 3weeks,and only had GOD and the elements,yet she had so many people aroung her,actualy sufocated her,and i dont get a second chance. Please assist im realy devastated,its like life has come to a halt
– Harry Strydom (South African)
A: I’m afraid I agree with your friend’s family. I think you should pay her back the money as soon as you can whether that is conveniently financially or not. I think you should not have borrowed it in the first place. You could have anticipated that this might happen.
– Dr. Neuman