Q: I believe I am doomed to be alone. I have been married twice, right now I am single. The issue is, I am picky. I don’t believe it’s being picky, I believe it’s being rational. I know I won’t be in a successful relationship with someone that is not college educated; I know they need to be lawful and have spent no time in jail; I know they need to believe in a higher power, whatever that means to them, and so on. There is no such person in the area of Florida where I live. I refuse to do the on line dating thing. Too superficial. What’s a girl to do? I own my own business but I am a computer consultant so I do a lot of my work behind my iMac. Suggestions would be great.
– Wendy K
A: Your requirements for a husband do not seem particularly picky: a college education, religious (but no particular religion) and law-abiding. You are not making demands about good-looks, money, brains, age or qualities of personality such as kind, thoughtful, considerate, fun-loving, ambitious, etc. I imagine most of these go without saying. You say there are no such men where you live in Florida. I have never been to Florida (I am picturing a swamp with alligators and mosquitoes, but no men.) Nevertheless, you have married twice, so there must be a few men here and there who seemed suitable. Of course, you could move. You seem to have a profession that would enable you to find work anywhere.
I strongly encourage everyone to date on the internet. Those I have persuaded, including members of my own family, are not superficial. They are all sorts. They are defined simply by the obvious wish to meet someone. Of course, there are superficial men and women on these sites as they are everywhere; but there are plenty of people who would fulfill your requirements. You just have to be prepared to wade through a lot of men who obviously are not desirable. If you make a date for an hour or so for the first time, you will not have wasted much time.
Of course, women hesitate to go on dating sites for other reasons. The most important is: they think dating this way carries a stigma. It no longer does, if it ever did.
– Dr. Neuman