Possible Nicknames for Donald Trump

by | May 30, 2016 | Humor, Politics

Possible nicknames for Donald Trump

Tit for tat.

Donald Trump feels it gives him an advantage to bestow nicknames on his political opponents. So, we have taken note of “Low-energy Jeb” “Small Mario,” Lyin’ Ted” Cruz etc. These opponents have fallen by the wayside, so we only have to get used to “Crooked Hillary.” I think if we could find the exactly right nickname for “The Donald,” (a previous nickname), we could level the playing field. Here are some possibilities:

“Dingbat Donald,”  for attacking the federal judge currently presiding over the law suit against “Trump University,” which was not an accredited university, but which, indeed, had paid Trump a few million dollars for various promotional activities and the use of his name. Trump complained that the judge, who comes from Indiana, was “Mexican,”  and ,therefore, prejudiced against him. Later that day, over the objections of Trump’s lawyers, the judge released previously sealed and embarrassing internal records of the “University”

During the same speech Donald gratuitously attacked various previous intimates and enemies, some of which had been previously unknown to his supporters and most everyone else.

“Atrocious Donald” for mimicking the physical disability of a reporter, mimicking the gait of the previous Republican nominee for President, and attacking the physical appearance of various men and women, including  his rivals for the nomination, including one woman standing a few feet away on the debate stage.

“Lewd Donald,”  for commenting repeatedly about women’s breasts and for his repeated references to his daughter being “hot.” (Perhaps, “Creepy Donald” would be more apt.)

“Repellant Donald,” for his success in alienating foreign leaders all across the globe. Also, for his ginning up anger and prejudice against various ethnic groups: Mexicans, Hispanics, in general, immigrants, muslims, etc.

“Hypocritical Donald,” for attacking Bill Clinton for infidelity, when he has himself acknowledged extramarital affairs. For complaining about the superrich buying political favors when he acknowledges doing the same thing.

“Mixed-up Donald,” for contradicting himself on virtually every subject he has discussed, sometimes in the same sentence. These include his various tax plans, energy plans, use of atomic weapons, and the proper use of bathrooms. He thinks/does not think women should be punished for having abortions.

“Dummy Donald,” for announcing in California in the midst of a years long drought that “there is no drought.” Similarly, he thinks the idea of global warming is a Chinese plot.

“Tubby Donald.”  I think there is no place in politics, or in any other kind of discourse, for attacks on the other person’s appearance. The resort to this sort of scurrilous and completely irrelevant comment Is a clear indication that the speaker has no more cogent argument to present. Still…you got to admit ,,, Trump is…fat. Not big-time, circus-man fat like Chris Christie, but unmistakably and unequivocally fat. I don’t know how he got to be fat. Possibly, he was compensating for having small hands.  Growing up fat can have unfortunate consequences. Imagine, little (but oversized) Donald standing disconsolately in his father’s mansion compound in Queens watching all the little Hispanic kids from the neighborhood climbing to the top of the wall and yelling down at him. “Fatty! Fatty! Mucho fatty.”

I think it is possible that much of Donald’s acerbic and disgruntled personality can be explained by his being fat. But maybe not. (c) Fredric Neuman, Author od “Detroit Tom and His Gang.”